Weekly Gossip: What’s in a Name?

by on March 9, 2012 · 0 comments

And how do you pronounce that name?

What’s in a name? A lot if it’s stupid and celebs sure do pick some stupid names for their kids. Growing up is hard enough without your birth certificate becoming a “kick me” sign. Yes, the kid is rich right off the giddy up and will more than likely be good looking but even that won’t make Sage Moonblood Stallone ok. Come on Rocky, really?!

There are degrees of stupid. It can range from what were they thinking to borderline abuse. Alicia Silverstone naming her son Bear Blu Jarecki was a bad decision but Nakoa-Wolf Managua Namakaeha Momoa should have gotten Lisa Bonet locked up. That made Gwyneth Paltrow’s choice of Apple and Moses almost tolerable but I’m still not giving a pass to Jermaine Jackson for naming his son Jermajesty. Seriously, that’s his name. Jermajesty.

In Iceland parents must choose from a list of government approved names. As a freedom loving American I found that objectionable but now I think they may be on to something. You wont find anyone named Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee in a Reykjavik phone book. His dad, Jason Lee may be “Almost Famous” but he’s a full blown douche.

There are signs of hope. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner named their son Samuel. Not Moon Unit, Dweezil, or Diva Muffin, all actual names, but Samuel. They gave their son a dignified strong name, which is probably what he’ll grow to be. We just have to keep him away from Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver and he should be ok.